This is a woman who remained with her boyfriend after he raped her.
The evening began with an argument between Jane Doe and her boyfriend.
Jane Doe recalls numerous moments when the phrase "make up sex" lit up his eyes. On that particular evening his version of make up sex left a mark that would remain with her for years to follow. The reason for the argument wasn't nearly as important as the way he handled the situation. His lack of consideration for her revealed a side she had never seen before. Anyway, Jane Doe didn't forgive him initially as she stood her ground. JD wasn't unforgiving but instead she just wasn't feeling him at that moment. So Jane Doe proceeded to live in her own thoughts peacefully while he apologized incessantly. He insisted that she was being dramatic and making a big deal about the situation on purpose. JD told him she'd rather discuss this at another time when her head was clear. However, he couldn't quite accept that answer as his mood changed by the moment. He was mad then playful, mad then playful,, sorry then angry, angrier then sorry again. After a while he jumped in front of her face and smiled. He was acting like an 8 year making goofy faces in an attempt to spark a smile. Jane Doe cracked a smile and that's when He began pecking at her cheeks with kisses until she eventually gave in. JD said "okay i forgive you" At that moment they were both in bed. she lying on her back while reading and he basically jumped on her like a puppy dog. JD was hesitant but he began undressing her slowly despite that.. all the while she kept saying "i don't know, this is a little too soon, plus it doesn't feel right for some reason" he continued, saying "cmon it'll be fine. she didn't say NO explicitly but didn't say YES either. he just kept going, kissing anonymous while lifting her legs up quickly. Jane Doe kept saying "uhhh i don't know about this" she felt as if the moment & the way he was behaving just didn't feel right. he didn't seem the same & JD sensed this unfamiliar aggression about him. the look on her face clearly revealed she was having doubts but he continued without hesitation and penetrated her. he kept going right along & about 10 seconds into it she said NO, no this isn't ... He interrupted "oh cmon, just go with it" she breathed heavily and said " NO CMON JUst get off.. this just doesn't feel right" he began thrusting her harder and said "but you wanted me to beg huh" she said, "stop okay, thats enough" but he didn't stop... shortly after then he finished and pulled out. He jumped off of her and she lied there, expressionless and said "that was great, i'm glad we settled this. i have to go to work now but i'll give you a call later" JD felt used, abused, and again in a position where she had no control over her own body. it was her body but she couldn't stop it from happening for some reason.. the experience was traumatizing to where she couldn't remember exactly how it all took place. she kept replaying the event back in her head and just couldn't stop. Jane Doe despised every moment of this. she hated how it was difficult to remember and eventually began rationalizing. "well maybe i did want it, i just didn't think i wanted it at the time" Jane Doe rationalized and began editing the events as they slowly crept back into her memory, she edited just a little bit here and there. We obviously realize what happened to her was rape!! On the other hand Jane Doe chopped up the event in HER head, slowly editing out parts, After Jane Doe replayed her final version she was content,, Jane Doe finally thought to herself "you know it wasn't that bad, i really should have forgiven him. I mean he didn't do anything that horrible. i was too hard on him. yeah exactly, it makes sense now" so she said to herself "well of course, if i was in the right i would have been able to stop it from happening, of course" phhhhhhew. she sighed a breath of relief once again. after all of that rationalizing, adding in excuses for his behavior and editing what really happened, Jane Doe felt a sense of control a once gain. Jane Doe no longer felt as if he had raped her. So, she decided to just with that to keep her sanity & mind at ease. Later on that evening a movie was playing that reminded her of him. When Jane Doe messaged him on facebook she was greeted in a manner that suggested everything was fine. They began joking and everything was all good again. Jane Doe even apologized for her actions the other night as if she had done something wrong. you know, as if she was being too dramatic earlier in the evening. She wanted to be the "chill girl" you know. that made her feel good.....he liked Jane Doe when she behaved this way & that lifted her spirits. Several months had passed and eventually the two broke up. Jane Doe finally had the opportunity to catch up with her friends. That's when reality hit her all at once.... During that conversation jane doe and her friends discovered the shocking truth. she had been raped, more than once, more than twice, countless numbers of times. A few of her close friends understood what happened but once the public found out the first question the asked was "why would you stay with him if he raped you?"
The evening began with an argument between Jane Doe and her boyfriend.
Jane Doe recalls numerous moments when the phrase "make up sex" lit up his eyes. On that particular evening his version of make up sex left a mark that would remain with her for years to follow. The reason for the argument wasn't nearly as important as the way he handled the situation. His lack of consideration for her revealed a side she had never seen before. Anyway, Jane Doe didn't forgive him initially as she stood her ground. JD wasn't unforgiving but instead she just wasn't feeling him at that moment. So Jane Doe proceeded to live in her own thoughts peacefully while he apologized incessantly. He insisted that she was being dramatic and making a big deal about the situation on purpose. JD told him she'd rather discuss this at another time when her head was clear. However, he couldn't quite accept that answer as his mood changed by the moment. He was mad then playful, mad then playful,, sorry then angry, angrier then sorry again. After a while he jumped in front of her face and smiled. He was acting like an 8 year making goofy faces in an attempt to spark a smile. Jane Doe cracked a smile and that's when He began pecking at her cheeks with kisses until she eventually gave in. JD said "okay i forgive you" At that moment they were both in bed. she lying on her back while reading and he basically jumped on her like a puppy dog. JD was hesitant but he began undressing her slowly despite that.. all the while she kept saying "i don't know, this is a little too soon, plus it doesn't feel right for some reason" he continued, saying "cmon it'll be fine. she didn't say NO explicitly but didn't say YES either. he just kept going, kissing anonymous while lifting her legs up quickly. Jane Doe kept saying "uhhh i don't know about this" she felt as if the moment & the way he was behaving just didn't feel right. he didn't seem the same & JD sensed this unfamiliar aggression about him. the look on her face clearly revealed she was having doubts but he continued without hesitation and penetrated her. he kept going right along & about 10 seconds into it she said NO, no this isn't ... He interrupted "oh cmon, just go with it" she breathed heavily and said " NO CMON JUst get off.. this just doesn't feel right" he began thrusting her harder and said "but you wanted me to beg huh" she said, "stop okay, thats enough" but he didn't stop... shortly after then he finished and pulled out. He jumped off of her and she lied there, expressionless and said "that was great, i'm glad we settled this. i have to go to work now but i'll give you a call later" JD felt used, abused, and again in a position where she had no control over her own body. it was her body but she couldn't stop it from happening for some reason.. the experience was traumatizing to where she couldn't remember exactly how it all took place. she kept replaying the event back in her head and just couldn't stop. Jane Doe despised every moment of this. she hated how it was difficult to remember and eventually began rationalizing. "well maybe i did want it, i just didn't think i wanted it at the time" Jane Doe rationalized and began editing the events as they slowly crept back into her memory, she edited just a little bit here and there. We obviously realize what happened to her was rape!! On the other hand Jane Doe chopped up the event in HER head, slowly editing out parts, After Jane Doe replayed her final version she was content,, Jane Doe finally thought to herself "you know it wasn't that bad, i really should have forgiven him. I mean he didn't do anything that horrible. i was too hard on him. yeah exactly, it makes sense now" so she said to herself "well of course, if i was in the right i would have been able to stop it from happening, of course" phhhhhhew. she sighed a breath of relief once again. after all of that rationalizing, adding in excuses for his behavior and editing what really happened, Jane Doe felt a sense of control a once gain. Jane Doe no longer felt as if he had raped her. So, she decided to just with that to keep her sanity & mind at ease. Later on that evening a movie was playing that reminded her of him. When Jane Doe messaged him on facebook she was greeted in a manner that suggested everything was fine. They began joking and everything was all good again. Jane Doe even apologized for her actions the other night as if she had done something wrong. you know, as if she was being too dramatic earlier in the evening. She wanted to be the "chill girl" you know. that made her feel good.....he liked Jane Doe when she behaved this way & that lifted her spirits. Several months had passed and eventually the two broke up. Jane Doe finally had the opportunity to catch up with her friends. That's when reality hit her all at once.... During that conversation jane doe and her friends discovered the shocking truth. she had been raped, more than once, more than twice, countless numbers of times. A few of her close friends understood what happened but once the public found out the first question the asked was "why would you stay with him if he raped you?"
